Recently, I saw the Sex and the City movie. Samantha Jones is tempted by her hot new male neighbor, but for the first time in her life she’s in a committed relationship. Suddenly she gains fifteen pounds and when her concerned friends inquire about her weight gain she says, “I eat so I won’t cheat.”
Many people don’t realize that this is a very common type of emotional eating. We eat to stay faithful. When we’re overweight we believe that less people will be attracted to us and there will be less temptation to cheat. Other people use the extra weight to stay out of unhealthy relationships by making themselves less attractive. Others use the weight to keep their current romantic partner at arm’s length. Staying overweight has us avoid the work of having to set boundaries with people–something that many of us don’t know how to do (or are afraid to do).
Samantha had to learn that eating isn’t the solution. She had to accept that she wanted to cheat because she was in a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling to her and she was unwilling to put the work in to make it fulfilling.
Is there a way that you’re using your weight to be less attractive to others? Does staying overweight keep you from having to do the work of learning how to set boundaries with people? Are you stuffing in your dissatisfaction with a relationship with food?
It wasn’t until Samantha admitted to her boyfriend that she wasn’t committed to the relationship and made the steps to leave that she stopped stuffing herself. How can you stop using food to postpone learning how to set boundaries or making a decision about a relationship?